So a clearly malnourished lefty protester decided to snack on the finger of a rival protester. While this is disturbing, it’s also rather surreal. The offending cannibal has yet to be identified, but there are suspects. The list includes the usual culprits including Mike Tyson and Bono. I personally believe the most likely culprit is Rahm Emanuel. Rahm lost half of a finger years ago and I don’t put anything past a politician that will send a dead fish to a pollster.
Some on the left took this as an opportunity to highlight the virtues of medicare. Let’s hope this strategy does not spread, because I’d hate to be stabbed just so the left could praise the speedy response of the ambulance. Obviously this incident does show us that medicare is a truly great program. I mean who hasn’t had their finger bitten off by a crazed lefty and wished the government was there to help?
I truly cannot wait to discover the identity of the finger biter. Speculation remains rampant as to which group he may be with. It really doesn’t matter which lefty group the biter belongs to, because they’re all pretty much flesh eating zombies.
The question remains as to why the lefty screwball decided to snack on the older gentleman. I like to think things went down like this…
Older gentleman opposed to Obamacare: Listen here, kid, you can have nationalized health care when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Lefty Nutbag: *chomp*
Older gentleman opposed to Obamacare: Jesus Christ, you stupid little shit, I’m not dead yet!
Lefty Nutbag: It tastes like … CHANGE