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Shameless Plug

19 May

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8 Feb

After a little investigative journalism, I’ve discovered that politicians writing notes on their hands is nothing new.

Cross Posted at FeedYourADHD

Bukkake Barney Strikes Again

30 Oct

bad barney

Barney Frank has been banned from the White House following an unfortunate incident this Wednesday. During the signing of landmark hate crimes legislation, Representative Barney Frank vomited on President Barack Obama. When asked about the incident, Representative Frank lamented that he had perhaps had too much to eat during a celebratory brunch.

Cross-Posted at The Anticrat

We Now Have Proof

1 Oct

letterman

Thanks to David Letterman we now know that you do not have to be funny to get laid.

Random Notes

30 Sep

you suck2

Gore Vidal is an extremely well educated man. Though Mr. Vidal may be well educated, I question his intelligence. Unfortunately, he fails to realize that the two terms are not synonymous. That explains why he called Barack Obama “the most intelligent person we’ve had in that position for a long time.”

– If true, this is one of the few times I can say I agree with a French President. I feel dirty and I’m not sure there is enough soap in the world to remedy the situation.

– When the GDP contracting by less than expected is a reason to celebrate, you know you’re still nut deep in a recession.

– Why am I watching old, female entertainers discuss politics? At least when young and attractive female entertainers make idiotic statements I can salvage the ordeal by hitting the mute button. I wont bother pointing out the numerous instances when Beck called for peaceful protests, while invoking Gandhi, because comments from those old hags don’t deserve to be treated seriously.

Any Ideas?

28 Sep

testicle tat

My genitals need your help. I was staring at my genitals the other day (What? It’s my junk and I’m allowed to stare) and I decided they could use something. Therefore, I’ve decided that my junk is in need of a humorous tattoo.

Why do my genitals need a graphic? Purely for my psychological benefit. If a woman breaks out into laughter at the sight of my genitals, I need to be able to convince myself it’s because of the tattoo. In short (heh, I said short), I’m looking for something universally funny to decorate my package. Obviously text is out of the question, due to the language barrier. I don’t want some Laotian Ladyboy staring inquisitively at my junk for all the wrong reasons.

So feel free to post your suggestions, folks. I’m looking for something funny so massage your funny bones, because you know I am, and hit me with your best shot. Just not in the eyes.

I’ll start it off with something simple. I was thinking of a smiley face on my scrotum.

Barack Obama Doesn’t Care About Black Governors

21 Sep

obama patterson

NEW YORK (AP)Two senior New York Democratic advisers say top national party leaders have asked Gov. David Paterson to consider withdrawing from the 2010 governor’s race.

The New York Times also reported that President Barack Obama requested that Paterson withdraw.

The advisers spoke to The Associated Press on the condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to speak for Paterson.

One of the advisers says that party leaders in Washington were concerned about Paterson’s political weakness, believing his office is too important to risk losing. The Democratic source is unsure what the response will be.

White House officials had no immediate comment.

For more on Obama v. Paterson see this great post from Snark&Boobs